I remember an interesting take on this in a talk by Ringu Tulku Rinpoche. It was that part of the evening where the audience gets to ask questions, and this guy commented; "I sometimes think Buddhism and Stoicism are the same as pacificism. Maybe if too many of us do this the world can never get better because some people take advantage?"
Ringu Tulku replied that he was not a pacifist. "If a man slaps me on the cheek I won't turn the other cheek. I will stop him slapping me and bring him to his senses to save him from the adverse karma that his wrong actions will surely generate."
Not to imply in any way that your choice was not "correct".
Yes, and that is an important self harm that humans are vulnerable to. As you point out: regardless of it is was real or perceived.
I probably should have split "2" into two different entries:
2a) Don't cause yourself more harm by stressing about it.
2b) Don't cause yourself more harm by being stubborn and refusing to accept the harm. Example: the deal costs you $6,000 that you shouldn't have to pay, but because you are upset at that, you take actions which end up costing you $12,000. In other words losing a fight and walking away, can be less damaging than fighting for what is right but suffering significantly more harm.
I remember an interesting take on this in a talk by Ringu Tulku Rinpoche. It was that part of the evening where the audience gets to ask questions, and this guy commented; "I sometimes think Buddhism and Stoicism are the same as pacificism. Maybe if too many of us do this the world can never get better because some people take advantage?"
Ringu Tulku replied that he was not a pacifist. "If a man slaps me on the cheek I won't turn the other cheek. I will stop him slapping me and bring him to his senses to save him from the adverse karma that his wrong actions will surely generate."
Not to imply in any way that your choice was not "correct".
c.f. Lhalung Pelgyi Dorje, assassin of Langdharma
Oh absolutely! This is not 100% pacifism. There are two points in my mind:
1) Consider the other party's viewpoint.
2) Don't let the situation stress you out or cause you harm when things don't go your way.
2) is what some call the Second Arrow: the extra harm we cause ourselves by fretting over some injury (real or perceived). Takes constant practice ;)
Yes, and that is an important self harm that humans are vulnerable to. As you point out: regardless of it is was real or perceived.
I probably should have split "2" into two different entries:
2a) Don't cause yourself more harm by stressing about it.
2b) Don't cause yourself more harm by being stubborn and refusing to accept the harm. Example: the deal costs you $6,000 that you shouldn't have to pay, but because you are upset at that, you take actions which end up costing you $12,000. In other words losing a fight and walking away, can be less damaging than fighting for what is right but suffering significantly more harm.